How Warden's Milk is made (NSFW)

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As seen by Anonymous. Posted under Imperian as a Roleplay log.

Alix and Runi spend some quality time together.

Submitted 26 Aug 2010. 1312 views in total, 0.23 per day.
Alix:
She is an athletic Ssylsin. She is short, standing under five feet, with a
lithe, slender figure that seems almost gaunt. Her scales are a deep green
shade, nearly black in places, lightening only along the bottom of her tail and
around her facial features. Her movements are slow and methodical, like those
of one much older, but something about them hints at a supple, almost feline
grace. Her long, sinuous tail sways slowly behind her, and her obsidian eyes
gaze out from beneath half-closed lids. She is wearing a black long-sleeved
shirt, a fur trimmed tattered grey cloak, a pair of rugged hide pants, a brown
leather pack, a suit of leather armour, a black forearm sheath, a
leather-strapped knife belt, a dusty wide-brimmed hat, and a dark leather
satchel. She wields an ivory sitara in her left hand and a tower shield in her
right.

Runi:
She is an athletic Sidhe. Bright-eyed and bright-haired, this five foot six
elfen girl has sickening sweetness almost oozing out of her pores. A wide smile
is almost constantly on her pink lips, and her vibrant green eyes seem to
sparkle in any available light. She has neon pink hair that falls down to the
middle of her back in hundreds of curls, split through by her sepia-hued,
pointed ears. The bangs hang just over her eyebrows, and are a bit longer on
the sides than the center. Her body shape is somewhat thin, but still
well-built. Her skin is a bit on the dark side, being a healthy medium tan, in
contrast with her lighter hair and eyes. It is unblemished save for a
spattering of freckles over her cheeks and her nearly flat chest. Even the
outsides of her toned arms and sturdy legs bear those dark brown dots of
pigment. Covering up a few freckles, there's a half-inch wide tattoo of a star
on her cheekbone, in the same shade and brightness of pink as her hair. She is
wearing a white leather satchel emblazoned with holy glyphs, a gold
Justice-inspired band, a golden butterfly armlet, polished gold-rimmed glasses,
a belt of golden links, a silver gypsy boot anklet, 2 delicate gold cuff
bracelets, an airy jade silk sundress, a pair of white silk sandals, and a
vibrant sunflower.


You say to Alix, "Cause it's -freezing- here, and I need my seraph to warm me
up but she's saying no."

You frown at a radiant seraph of scarlet hue.

You say, "What do you mean all you can do is set me on fire?!"

You say, "I thought you were supposed to help people!"

Sorrowful, you shake your head slowly at a radiant seraph of scarlet hue.

Alix says to you, "Since you've shown at least a modicum of curiosity as to how
we 'grow' Milk up here..."
Alix smiles impishly and says, "Drink up, and I'll tell you how Warden's Milk
came to be."

You say, "What do you mean, just use caloric salve? I have it slathered all
over me and I'm still freezing. What, you don't see my skin glistening like I
took a bath in xiur piss?"

You peer at a radiant seraph of scarlet hue unscrupulously.

You say, "What do you mean, stop repeating everything you say back to you?"

Alix smiles wryly, a look of amusement passing over her features.

You bid your Seraphic guardian farewell for now.
Your guardian seraph shimmers silently away.

You sniff a wooden mug of Warden's Milk, trying to decipher just what that
smell emanating from it is.

You say, "This milk smells a little spoiled..."

You take a seat next to Alix at the worn ironwood bar.

Alix says, "Drink the Milk, it'll warm you right up."

Alix swings her scaled tail back and forth contently.

You gulp down a mixed cocktail, wetting your palate.
With a great amount of effort, you manage to drink some of the thick liquid,
coughing as the drink slowly makes its way down, the wood chips and leaves
within it rough against your throat.

You stare about with a blank look in your eyes.

You have emoted: Runi breaks into a sharp coughing fit, digging into her mouth
to retrive bits of twigs and wood.

Alix grins mischievously.

You say, "What the Dis?!"

You say, "What is in this?!"

Alix gives a trillingly melodic laugh.

You flail your limbs helplessly.

You say, "You people eat -wood-?!"

Alix says, "I'm about to tell you, if you'd settle long enough to listen."

Alix swings her scaled tail back and forth contently.

You have emoted: Runi takes a few more hacking coughs and wipes her eyes.

You say, "Okay... okay... just gimme the hot cider instead. Okay, what's your
story?"

Alix says to you, "Under the assumption that you've never been to the Black
Keep, I'll describe it for you."

You say, "Okay, sure."

You blink.

You sniff a black pine mug of hot cider, trying to decipher just what that
smell emanating from it is.

You say, "Is that wolf piss?!"

You say, "You guys mix... in your .... oh, sheesh, what a crazy place..."

Alix smiles impishly and says to you, "You're not doing a very good job
learning the culture, as your desert-bound wise man suggested."

You have emoted: Runi slumps over onto the bar.

You say, "...uuuuurrrggghhh..."

You have emoted: Runi pops back up.

You say, "But no, seriously, let's hear that story."

Alix smiles impishly and says to you, "Fortunately, I've got you captive here
now for the time being."

You say, "Oh, oh no, you've got me captive - whatever shall I do?"

You have emoted: Runi waves her arms about in mock panic.

Alix says, "The Black Keep is where the Wardens live. It's basically a big
wooden palisade around a watch tower on stilts."

Alix spreads her hands across the bar to illustrate the scope of the place she
describes.

You say, "Oh, it's a tree fort?"

Alix says, "Near enough."

Alix smiles wryly, a look of amusement passing over her features.

Alix says, "At the top of the watch tower, one of the Wardens stands guard and
doubles as a fletcher. That's a person what makes arrows, a fletcher."

Alix says, "Well, once upon a time, a long long time ago, there was a drought
up here in the Pines."

You say, "So it never snowed?"

You say, "Ran out of frozen trees to lick?"

Alix frowns and says, "It snows all the time now, but this was so long ago that
it didn't snow -all- the time, back then."

Alix says, "The Fury of the Black Wood--that's the leader of the Wardens,
see?--the Fury at the time decided that the best way to make sure his people
were taken care of would be to gather up all the drinkables and store them in
great big barrels beneath the Keep."

Alix says to you, "Anyway, so the Fury set up all these great big barrels, and
set the youngest Warden with the task of guarding over them."

Alix says to you, "Well, the youngest Warden wasn't necessarily the
brightest..."

You say to Alix, "The furry of the Black Wood? He was Lycaean?"

Alix says, "No, the Fury, you little pup."

You give a sheepish, almost shameful grin.

Alix smiles vaguely, her dark eyes glittering dangerously.

Alix says, "Now, as I said, the youngest Warden wasn't really the brightest..."

Alix says, "So when a bit of rare rainwater caught and gathered on a tarpulin
in the Keep, he poured it right into the nearest barrel."

Alix says, "When one of his Brothers went out on a bet to milk a she-wolf and
came back with a few buckets of milk mixed with a bit of his own blood..."

Alix says, "Right into the nearest barrel."

Alix says, "When another Brother came in from a hunt with the carcass of a
great grizzly bear from the Eastern Nolmines..."

Alix smiles impishly and says, "Right into that self-same barrel."

You say, "Eeeew, so it was like a chunky slurry of blood and milk and water and
bear guts."

Alix looks thoughtful and says, "The WardeNs Never were partIcularly well-known
for their intellect."

Alix says, "Now, remember that fletcxer what sau there day by day atop the
Kkeep?"

You say, "He... was making arrows, and the wood shavings went into the barrel,
right?"

Alix says, "Exactly."

You say, "See, there you go. I'm smart! S-M-R-T. I mean S M A R T."

Alix grins mischievously.

Alix says, "So, needless to say, when the Fury goot back from his lengthy hunt
and saw the great mess the youngest Warden hhad made of thoosee all important
bwarrelsh..."

Alix looks skeptical and says, "He wasn't too happy."

Alix says, "In fact, he may possibly have been considerably closer to enraged
thann happy."

Alix chuckles softly at her own choke, lifting her mug to her lips once more.

Alix drains the last drops of a mixed cocktail from a wooden mug of Warden's
Milk.

Alix coughs violently, choking down a swig from her mug.

Nils chews thoughtfully on a wooden mug of Warden's Milk for a moment before
tearing it to pieces and swallowing the remains.

Alix pats Nils, a weary old wolf in a friendly manner.

You say, "You feed your dogs wood too?!"

Alix nods her head affirmatively at you.

You flail your limbs helplessly.

Alix says, "He imppal *hic* ed the poor lad on the spot, cawghht up in his
anwer at the youngest Warden."

Alix smiles impishly and says, "And tipped the body right into that nearby
barrel."

Alix says, "Then he stormed off on another long hunt, to air out his andeR and
blow off some of his frustration."

Alix says, "Unfortunately, they found that Particuhlar Fury's body nearly two
years later."

Alix frowns and says, "Turns out, sTorming off in a rage to hunt down the
diirewolves is a poor, poor idea. It makes you reckless and liable to becomme
the hunted, instead of the hunter."

You say, "How'd they know it was him after two years?"

You say, "You think he'd be all bones and dirt."

Alix says to you, "It's cold up here. Bodies don't Decay quite as fast as you
might think. And besides, he probably didn'T die until several months after he
first left."

You say, "That's a pretty long hunt."

Alix says, "Aye. There's precious little else to do up here but hunt."

Alix says, "Well, aa new Fury was eLected iN time..."

Alix says, "And this new Fury was an odd one, definitely that."

Alix says, "He wanted the Keeep all...clean, anu tidy...swept out and
organized."

Alix says, "I believe pe eventually won himself the title 'The Mad'..."

You say, "He sounds like a pretty swell guy!"

You beam broadly.

Alix snorts arrogantly.

Alix says, "Well."

Alix says, "All this time, everkone had forgotten aboUt those barRrels beneath
the Keep."

You say, "Eeew, three year old milk."

Alix says, "The poor Warden what firrst found those barrels tucked away beneath
the Keep sighed and set to woork rolling them out so he could clean up under
there."

Alix says, "The first few weren't much trouble. He thought they were just
random barrels full of woodchips."

Alix frowns and says, "But then he got to this particular one, and it was
awfully heavy."

Alix says, "Curious, the Warden took a moment to pry off the top covering of
wood shavings."

You say, "Yeah, the fermented remains of bodily fluid squeezed out of a wolf's
nipples is pretty thick and heavy."

Alix laughingly says, "...and he was promptly rendered unconscious by the
alcoholic fumes within."

Alix smiles impishly and says, "So, as soon as he came to, he did what ani REAL
Warden would."

You say, "He threw it away and swore to never touch another barrel again?"

"Nah," Alix says, with a slight wave of her hand.

Alix laughingly says, "He dedicated his life to reproducing the contents of
that particular barrel."

Alix says, "It took him twenty years and a dozen attemhts, but now we all
know..."

You say, "I sure know when I'm knocked unconscious by poisonous fumes, the
first thing I want to do is try and copy what made it."

Alix says, "Blood of the bear, milk of the worf - some raik water, but not too
much. A few hanks of meat tossed in, a coveling of wood chips, and let shit for
two years."

Alix grins mischievously.

Alix coughs violently, choking down a swig from her mug.

Alix smiles impishly and says, "And that, is how we 'grow' Milk up heree."

Alix says, "So,, what have you leaRned from the story!"

Alix tilts her head and listens intently to you.

You say to Alix, "Wardens are freaking crazy."

Alix says, "I'll be sure to pass your observations on ko Draven."

You say, "Hey. It's your story."

Alix smiles wryly, a look of amusement passing over her features.

You say, "What, what do you want me to say, "the Ithaquans have a rich and
varied culture and a full history of wonderful lore?" You just told me a story
about some guy milking a wolf and throwing some wood chips in and calling it a
mixed cocktail!"

Alix grins mischievously.

Alix says to you, "Just because itt's not the sort of history and lore you're
accustomed to, doesn't mean it doesn't mean just as mach to us as yours does to
you."

Alix says to you, "Assuming something as narrow minded as that would be like
assuming shomeone who grew up the only child of weaalthy parents placed the
same value on things as an urchin who grew up on the streets."

Alix purses her lips contemplatively.

Alix says, "Think of it this way..."

Alix folds her hands together on the bar, staring fixedly at a knot in the wood
as she gathers her thoughts.

Alix says, "It's sort of...like a river..."

Alix glances up, her obsidian eyes flashing as she catches and holds your gaze.

Alix says, "If you were to stand at the bank of a river, ynd I stood on the
opposite bank about 300 meters up or downstream from you..."

Alix says, "You might look into the water, and way the river was clear, or
green, or that it flowed swiftly by."

Alix says, "I might shtare down into that same water, and say it was clouhded,
or blue, or sluggish."

Alix says, "But it's the same water, flowing between the samu banks, from the
same source, to the same ohtlet."

Alix says, "In a similar way, you might look at some piece of our lore, and
dismiss it out of hand, while to us, it means a great deal."

Alix says, "It's the same information, the same bit of knowledge, but it means
completely different thingsh to us, because we stand at different points,
viewing it from a different angle."

You say to Alix, "So... you guys have rivers here?"

You peer about yourself unscrupulously.

Alix gives a pained sigh.

Alix says to you, "Please do try to open your eyes a bit, pup. I understand the
blazing glare of the desert sun tends to cloud the mind and vision, but at
least put forth a bit of effort."

You sway to and fro.

Alix says, "There's not much youh can teach a pupp who walks around witth her
eyes and mind closed to the world. You'lll stumble on yoour own, and run into
enough walls eventuallly, that you'll open your eyes in your own time. Trying
too force them open before then wilL cause nothing but frustration for the both
of us."

Alix says, "At least consider what I've tried to share with you, little one."