Antioch Troll

+2With 6 votes
As seen by Anonymous. Posted under Imperian as a Funnies log.

Two princes from the kingdom of Lisspalia visit Antioch (the Shuk).

Submitted 16 Dec 2011. 1664 views in total, 0.31 per day.
Antioch Shuk.
The bright sun shines down, blanketing you with its life-giving warmth. This has been marked as holy ground. A sewer grate looms darkly beneath your feet. A plain metal chest rests upon the ground here. An armoured knight has been chiseled into this shrine, his heavy form set to kneel before a fierce lion. There are 2 small wooden signs here. The shop directory of Antioch rests here on a marble pedestal. Swaying slightly in the softest breeze, a lovely hammock of multi-hued silk and warm rosewood sits here. An intricately carved muamrite guard's spear lies abandoned here. A small package, wrapped in a grey cloth and tied with twine lies on the ground here. A stick of brilliant white incense is here, cleansing the air of all other aromas. Some rose petals lie here in a small pile. A large bone lies on the ground here. An elegant white letter is in danger of being soiled here. A young lamiran maiden stands here in an unassuming pose, wreathed in the scent of brine. A furry puppy dog runs around chasing its tail. Viscous liquid dripping from tattered wings, Corpse Eater, the white crow glares from his perch. Incredibly large and a rare white shade, a massive woolly mammoth stands here with confidence and aloofness. A mighty condor is perched here, blending in with the rocks behind it. An elite Antioch cleric is manning a cannon here. She has ninety-one cannon balls. A lithe, powerful cheetah roams here. A muscular mountain lion prowls here, searching for prey. A grim raven is perched here, glaring about grumpily. There are 10 elite Justicars of the Shah here. There are 5 elite Antioch clerics here. A crested golden eagle is perched solemnly here. Nostrils flared, a black and white mare stands attentively here. A narimer flicks its tail in agitation on being discovered. A powerful white she-wolf is lounging here, looking over her surroundings with a watchful eye. Heated breath flaring his nostrils, a massive warhorse stands here imperially. Advancing with teeth bared, the wolverine objects to the intrusion. A muscular mountain lion prowls here, searching for prey. A mean camel is here spitting at you. Attendant of the Oasis, Airashii Eldunari is here. She is holding a twilight rose inlayed brush in her left hand. Forgemaster, Zachariah Eldunari is here. He wields a Hammer of Forging in his left hand and a strong broadsword in his right. A peaceful aura fills the area, emanating from Miichelle, Aspect of Aryana. Matron Valkyrie, Sharatar Ashtear, Heart of The lion is here. Wiliam is here. You see a sign here instructing you that WARES is the command to see what is for sale.
You see exits leading north, northeast, east, southeast, south, southwest, west, northwest, and in.

Attendant of the Oasis, Airashii Eldunari exclaims, "BRAIN FREEZE!"

Sharatar finishes the sundae with a lick of her lips to capture any remaining
fudge before popping the cherry in her mouth with a smile.

"Ouch!", Airashii shrieks in pain.

Sharatar's eyes sparkle with amusement.

Wiliam says, "What ish thish?"

Sharatar raises an eyebrow at Wiliam.

Miichelle flashes Wiliam a joyous smile.

Miichelle unrolls two spools of cloth, tightly bandaging them around Wiliam.

Zachariah greets Wiliam with a sincere smile.

Attendant of the Oasis, Airashii Eldunari says to Wiliam, "We're all eating ice
cream."

Sharatar places her right fist over her heart, bowing her head in respect
towards Wiliam.

Wiliam says to Miichelle, "Thank you shimpleton."

You say, "Ishe cream..."

Zachariah pours blessings over Wiliam, whose face lights up in joy.

You utter a deep, rumbling laugh.

Miichelle gives Wiliam the once-over, eyeing him suspiciously.

You say, "How quaint for the shimple tongue."

Wiliam gives you a nod of acknowledgement.

Zachariah smiles wryly, a look of amusement passing over his features.

You nod your head at Wiliam, showing your acceptance.

Forgemaster, Zachariah Eldunari says, "Oh look...two wandering comedians."

Matron Valkyrie, Sharatar Ashtear, Heart of The lion says, "Where?"

Wiliam sighs deeply, as if he has suffered a great loss.

You utter a deep, rumbling laugh at Zachariah.

Airashii grins mischievously at Zachariah.

Wiliam stares at Zachariah intently as he approaches him, sucking his thumb
absently minded. Wiliam stops for a moment, watching Zachariah closely as he
withdraws his thumb from his mouth and wipes it on Zachariah's arm.

Peaceful Voice, Miichelle Savann says to Wiliam, "You should get some clothes,
or you may hurt your well, whatever you have."

Wiliam steps on Zachariah's feet and he cups his chin, stroking his own with
his free hand. "Well formed chin, shir." Wiliam comments right before he places
a quick kiss upon the tip of Zachariah's nose and steps back, returning to
normal as if nothing had happened.

You say, "Comediansh."

You have emoted: Eugene gives a totally blank stare for several seconds, he
puts his finger into his mouth briefly, covering his fingertip with saliva.
   
You have recovered balance.

You have emoted: Eugene gives Zachariah a eager look, scrunching up his face,
reaching over with his wet finger and placing it directly into Zachariah's ear.
He lingers for a second and then withdraws it, his face returning to normal as
if nothing had happened.
   
You have recovered balance.

You say, "Your parentsh probably worked for my father."

Zachariah utters a deep, rumbling laugh.

Zachariah sheaths a strong broadsword into a metallic back scabbard with his
right hand.

You utter a deep, rumbling laugh at Zachariah.

Zachariah quickly draws a curved sabre from a crimson red scabbard with his
right hand.

Wiliam says to Zachariah, "Yesh. Can you fetch me a cup of tea as quick as your
parentsh?"

You say, "Can you make my coffee ash good ash they can?"

You urge Zachariah onwards.

Forgemaster, Zachariah Eldunari says, "See...I told you...they are quite
humorous."

Airashii grins and nods at Zachariah.

You utter a deep, rumbling laugh at Wiliam.

Matron Valkyrie, Sharatar Ashtear, Heart of The lion says to Zachariah,
"Quite."

Peaceful Voice, Miichelle Savann says, "Hmm."

Wiliam says to you, "This shimpleton sheemsh to be a bit delushional."

You say, "He doesh not comprehend shimple reality."

You say, "Perhapsh he ish inshane."

Sharatar gives you the once-over, eyeing you suspiciously.

Wiliam says to you, "He cannot comprehend our wealth."

You nod your head at Wiliam, showing your acceptance.

You say, "He doesh not know what our father ish capable of."

Forgemaster, Zachariah Eldunari says, "They don't realize that I can enemy them
and they will be slain by the guards."

Zachariah smiles wryly, a look of amusement passing over his features.

Wiliam says to Zachariah, "Care to shtroke my chin, shir?"

Matron Valkyrie, Sharatar Ashtear, Heart of The lion says to Zachariah, "Not
many realize that."

Peaceful Voice, Miichelle Savann says, "Or they do and they don't care."

You say, "I shuggesht you do sho."

Peaceful Voice, Miichelle Savann says to Zachariah, "Why bother, they are just
a little light comedy."

Wiliam says to Zachariah, "Your parentsh ushed to shtroke my chin every time I
requeshted it."

Forgemaster, Zachariah Eldunari says to Miichelle, "But then I'd have to
explain why the guards were called out."

You say, "Even without requesht."

Miichelle nods her head.

Wiliam nods his head.

"Eh?" Zachariah says curiously.

You say, "They were good shlaves."

Wiliam says, "They shimply shtroked me with their shimple hands."

Forgemaster, Zachariah Eldunari says, "Not worth the time and effort."

You utter a deep, rumbling laugh at Wiliam.

You say, "Hish jealoushy is tangible."

Zachariah gets some gold sovereigns from a sleek leather satchel.

Wiliam says to you, "He hash gold..."

Matron Valkyrie, Sharatar Ashtear, Heart of The lion says to Zachariah
something in a quick, flowing tongue.

Wiliam says to Zachariah, "Whoshe shlave are you?"

Zachariah gives some gold sovereigns to Wiliam.

Attendant of the Oasis, Airashii Eldunari says to you, "How would you know what
kind of people my Grandfather's parents were? You both are only 18."

Zachariah gives 1 gold sovereigns to you.

You say, "Which mashter decided to beshtow gold upon thee?"

Zachariah smiles wryly, a look of amusement passing over his features.

You utter a deep, rumbling laugh at Airashii.

Forgemaster, Zachariah Eldunari says, "You are amusing."

Wiliam takes up some gold sovereigns in his left hand.

Wiliam cries aloud his renunciation of divine grace.

Forgemaster, Zachariah Eldunari says, "But now, you have been paid...so run
along."

You say to Airashii, "I am well educated well upon your yearsh, more than your
shlave mind can comprehend."

Wiliam throws some gold sovereigns at Zachariah, but it does little more than
startle him.

Wiliam says to Zachariah, "Take your gold, shimpleton. You need to feed your
shtarving children."

You give 1 gold sovereigns to Zachariah.

You utter a deep, rumbling laugh at Wiliam.

Zachariah utters a deep, rumbling laugh.

Attendant of the Oasis, Airashii Eldunari says to you, "I am NO ONE'S slave!"

You say, "Your parentsh are shlavesh to my parentsh."

Wiliam says to Airashii, "Then you have no purposhe shimpleton."

Peaceful Voice, Miichelle Savann says to Airashii, "Don't bother, they are not
worth your time, or mine."

Forgemaster, Zachariah Eldunari says to Airashii, "Little One...these children
are very confused."

You exclaim, "Begone!"

You utter a deep, rumbling laugh at Zachariah.

Airashii grins and nods at Zachariah.

Matron Valkyrie, Sharatar Ashtear, Heart of The lion says, "Never have I met
more confused children."

Wiliam says, "Do you know who I am?"

You say, "Yesh, no need to worry about ush, we have only more wealth than 10 of
your shimple lifetimesh."

Airashii grins and nods at Sharatar.

Matron Valkyrie, Sharatar Ashtear, Heart of The lion says to Wiliam, "I don't
really care."

Wiliam says, "I could purchashe the protectorate and turn it into a harem."

Sharatar rolls on the floor, laughing.

You utter a deep, rumbling laugh at Wiliam.

Forgemaster, Zachariah Eldunari says to Wiliam, "No...nor do I really care who
you are."

You say, "Indeed shir."

You have emoted: Eugene gives a totally blank stare for several seconds, he
puts his finger into his mouth briefly, covering his fingertip with saliva.
   
You have recovered balance.

You have emoted: Eugene gives Sharatar a eager look, scrunching up his face,
reaching over with his wet finger and placing it directly into Sharatar's ear.
He lingers for a second and then withdraws it, his face returning to normal as
if nothing had happened.
   
You have recovered balance.

Miichelle wrinkles her nose disfavourably.

Sharatar viciously smacks you about the chops.

Zachariah smiles wryly, a look of amusement passing over his features.

You say, "I will have you arreshted peashant."

Sharatar gives a trillingly melodic laugh.

Wiliam says to Sharatar, "How dare you hit hish noble body?"

You utter a deep, rumbling laugh at Wiliam.

Peaceful Voice, Miichelle Savann says, "Someone needs to put his false teeth in
so he stops lisping."

Zachariah nods sagely.

You say, "She ish shtupid."

Matron Valkyrie, Sharatar Ashtear, Heart of The lion says to Wiliam, "I do as I
please."

Airashii nods her head affirmatively.

You say, "She ish unable to comprehend my wealth, give her the benefit of the
doubt."

Forgemaster, Zachariah Eldunari says, "Either that or perhaps they are more
"friendly" than they let on."

You say, "Shome people were jusht born without intelligenshe."

Wiliam says to Miichelle, "Shomebody needsh to return you to Tuathal and
requesht a refund."

You utter a deep, rumbling laugh at Sharatar.

You nod your head at Wiliam, showing your acceptance.

You say, "You are not nearly ash obedient ash your parentsh."

You say, "Worthlessh."

Wiliam gives you a nod of acknowledgement.

Sharatar shakes her head sadly.

Forgemaster, Zachariah Eldunari says to Miichelle, "That kind also lisps."

Miichelle nods her head.

Wiliam says to you, "Give gold to shimpletons and they shall act ash if they
are of noble blood."

Airashii turns her back on Wiliam and pointedly ignores him.

Airashii turns her back on you and pointedly ignores you.

You utter a deep, rumbling laugh at Wiliam.

Wiliam shakes his head at Airashii.

You utter a deep, rumbling laugh.

You utter a deep, rumbling laugh at Airashii.

Zachariah turns his back on Wiliam and pointedly ignores him.

Zachariah turns his back on you and pointedly ignores you.

Wiliam shrugs helplessly at you.

You say to Wiliam, "Why do we offer theshe shimpletonsh a chanche at a good
life?"

Wiliam says to you, "Because we are good men, shir."

You say, "Perhapsh our father wash right, but indeed, we are good men."

Matron Valkyrie, Sharatar Ashtear, Heart of The lion says to Zachariah, "So
tempted."

You nod your acknowledgement of Wiliam.

Zachariah gives Sharatar a wry smile, his eyes lighting up deviously.

Wiliam says to Sharatar, "To shtroke my chin?"

You nod your head at Sharatar, showing your acceptance.

You say, "You may prosheed."

Forgemaster, Zachariah Eldunari says to Sharatar, "Oh Sweetheart...they really
aren't worth it."

Miichelle beckons Zachariah to her.

Miichelle beckons Sharatar to her.

Miichelle beckons Airashii to her.

You say, "She hash the temper of a shimpleton."

Wiliam says, "She ish the shimplesht shimpleton I have ever met."

Matron Valkyrie, Sharatar Ashtear, Heart of The lion says to Zachariah, "I
know."

Airashii, Sharatar, and Zachariah leave to the northeast following Miichelle.